1st and 2nd Degree of Separation vs 3rd and 4th Degree of Separation Whats the Difference

1st and 2nd Degree of Separation vs 3rd and 4th Degree of Separation Whats the Difference This is the second of three posts talking about Degrees of Separation. Yesterday I talked about how to drill deeper in your network by asking the who do you know questions. Tomorrow Ill talk about how we do this in JibberJobber (with the Tree View and Referred By).  Its very powerful, and easy to use. Today I want to talk about the differences between the 1st/2nd Degree Contacts and the 3rd/4th Degree Contacts. A job search coach (I wish I could remember who its been about 6 years) told me something like you get your job leads from your 3rd and 4th Degree Contacts, not from your 1st and 2nd Degree Contacts. Profound. Powerful.  And when I had just a spreadsheet to organize my job search, very FRUSTRATING.  I couldnt keep track of that.  And LinkedIn would change it, if a 4th Degree Contact decided to connect with me. It makes sense because my 1st Degree Contacts are my close friends and family and they typically have nothing to do with my industry (but I still like them) :p  Going to them time and again can be exhausting and embarrassing.  You arent going to ask them every week do you have a job opening for me yet? If you ask them for and introduction to someone in your industry or profession, they might introduce you to someone who is a great person to talk to, but might not know of any opportunities. But, think about this, when you as THEM, the 2nd Degree Contact, for an introduction, they might get you much closer.  This 2nd Degree person should be someone in your industry or profession and know someone who you should talk to.  You should be able speak the same language enough to gain a level of trust, and let them know you are ready for a real introduction.  This person might be plugged in to someone who is influential, in-the-know, etc. Thats your 3rd Degree Contact. This is the person who really might know of some openings at their company or locally. If they dont, they surely know some great people to introduce, who become your 4th Degree Contacts. Its not that one person is BETTER than another.  But as you get deeper you can get CLOSER to the right person at your target company, or that knows about openings. Imagine a number of introductions even 4th Degree Contacts, at your target companies. THIS IS POWERFUL! And it generally comes through introductions. Referrals. I know you are meeting people going up to them and introducing yourself.  Thats good. I dare you to network DEEPER. Tomorrow Ill talk about how to track that in JibberJobber. 1st and 2nd Degree of Separation vs 3rd and 4th Degree of Separation Whats the Difference This is the second of three posts talking about Degrees of Separation. Yesterday I talked about how to drill deeper in your network by asking the who do you know questions. Tomorrow Ill talk about how we do this in JibberJobber (with the Tree View and Referred By).  Its very powerful, and easy to use. Today I want to talk about the differences between the 1st/2nd Degree Contacts and the 3rd/4th Degree Contacts. A job search coach (I wish I could remember who its been about 6 years) told me something like you get your job leads from your 3rd and 4th Degree Contacts, not from your 1st and 2nd Degree Contacts. Profound. Powerful.  And when I had just a spreadsheet to organize my job search, very FRUSTRATING.  I couldnt keep track of that.  And LinkedIn would change it, if a 4th Degree Contact decided to connect with me. It makes sense because my 1st Degree Contacts are my close friends and family and they typically have nothing to do with my industry (but I still like them) :p  Going to them time and again can be exhausting and embarrassing.  You arent going to ask them every week do you have a job opening for me yet? If you ask them for and introduction to someone in your industry or profession, they might introduce you to someone who is a great person to talk to, but might not know of any opportunities. But, think about this, when you as THEM, the 2nd Degree Contact, for an introduction, they might get you much closer.  This 2nd Degree person should be someone in your industry or profession and know someone who you should talk to.  You should be able speak the same language enough to gain a level of trust, and let them know you are ready for a real introduction.  This person might be plugged in to someone who is influential, in-the-know, etc. Thats your 3rd Degree Contact. This is the person who really might know of some openings at their company or locally. If they dont, they surely know some great people to introduce, who become your 4th Degree Contacts. Its not that one person is BETTER than another.  But as you get deeper you can get CLOSER to the right person at your target company, or that knows about openings. Imagine a number of introductions even 4th Degree Contacts, at your target companies. THIS IS POWERFUL! And it generally comes through introductions. Referrals. I know you are meeting people going up to them and introducing yourself.  Thats good. I dare you to network DEEPER. Tomorrow Ill talk about how to track that in JibberJobber. 1st and 2nd Degree of Separation vs 3rd and 4th Degree of Separation Whats the Difference This is the second of three posts talking about Degrees of Separation. Yesterday I talked about how to drill deeper in your network by asking the who do you know questions. Tomorrow Ill talk about how we do this in JibberJobber (with the Tree View and Referred By).  Its very powerful, and easy to use. Today I want to talk about the differences between the 1st/2nd Degree Contacts and the 3rd/4th Degree Contacts. A job search coach (I wish I could remember who its been about 6 years) told me something like you get your job leads from your 3rd and 4th Degree Contacts, not from your 1st and 2nd Degree Contacts. Profound. Powerful.  And when I had just a spreadsheet to organize my job search, very FRUSTRATING.  I couldnt keep track of that.  And LinkedIn would change it, if a 4th Degree Contact decided to connect with me. It makes sense because my 1st Degree Contacts are my close friends and family and they typically have nothing to do with my industry (but I still like them) :p  Going to them time and again can be exhausting and embarrassing.  You arent going to ask them every week do you have a job opening for me yet? If you ask them for and introduction to someone in your industry or profession, they might introduce you to someone who is a great person to talk to, but might not know of any opportunities. But, think about this, when you as THEM, the 2nd Degree Contact, for an introduction, they might get you much closer.  This 2nd Degree person should be someone in your industry or profession and know someone who you should talk to.  You should be able speak the same language enough to gain a level of trust, and let them know you are ready for a real introduction.  This person might be plugged in to someone who is influential, in-the-know, etc. Thats your 3rd Degree Contact. This is the person who really might know of some openings at their company or locally. If they dont, they surely know some great people to introduce, who become your 4th Degree Contacts. Its not that one person is BETTER than another.  But as you get deeper you can get CLOSER to the right person at your target company, or that knows about openings. Imagine a number of introductions even 4th Degree Contacts, at your target companies. THIS IS POWERFUL! And it generally comes through introductions. Referrals. I know you are meeting people going up to them and introducing yourself.  Thats good. I dare you to network DEEPER. Tomorrow Ill talk about how to track that in JibberJobber.

Think Differently to Beat Impostor Syndrome The Natural Genius

Think Differently to Beat Impostor Syndrome The Natural Genius Embed from Getty Imageswindow.gie=window.gie||function(c){(gie.q=gie.q||[]).push(c)};gie(function(){gie.widgets.load({id:'Zqdo36oTQwV-Zjuppecf0w',sig:'L322uh-Mb99vYwMydwSFX13nsJu3QtNLzNcrFwIT588=',w:'509px',h:'339px',items:'585795908',caption: false ,tld:'com',is360: false })}); Valerie Young is the author of The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It.  In a previous post, I wrote about the different versions of Impostor Syndrome. Here’s one version. People who subscribe to the Natural Genius theory of competence believe that true competence means having inherent intelligence and ability. Valerie Young writes, “… the thinking here is that success should be effortless. If you identify with the Natural Genius, what you care mostly about is how and when accomplishments happen.” I’ve written about the trap of perfectionism, but this trap may be even worse. Young writes, “…instead of the key measure being flawlessness, you judge yourself based on ease and speed. You expect to know without being taught, to excel without effort, and to get it right on the first attempt. You think, If I were really smart, I would be able to understand everything the first time I hear it, or If I were a real writer, it wouldn’t be this hard.” Yikes. Those suffering from Natural Genius syndrome get there by comparing themselves to the best of the best. “Look at Michael Phelps swim. No matter how good I get, I’ll always struggle with my backstroke. Even if I win all my races, I’m no Michael Phelps.”  It sounds silly when I write about Michael Phelps, but how many times have you compared yourself to someone who is a “natural” speaker, writer, salesman, or manager? Psychologists have studied this phenomenon for years, and they have identified one of its root causes. People with a fixed theory of intelligence believe that your capacity to learn and know is pre-determined.   You’re as smart as you’re ever going to be at a very young age. You buy into this and reinforce it when you say things like “I’ve never been good at math” or “I always struggle with writing.” Even when you have success, you attribute it to luck or your innate capacity, and your success doesn’t build confidence. The truth is that you can master almost any skill; it just takes focus, study, and practice. If you believe you can get better over time, you have a growth mindset.  With a growth mindset, you’re more likely to work hard on building skills and solving tough problems, and coincidentally, you actually get better. When you have success, you recognize it’s because you worked hard; you gain confidence that you can master the next level skill as well. You can help yourself and those around you build a growth mindset. Next time you see someone (especially a girl or woman) succeed, don’t tell her how smart she is. Evidence shows that implying that their success is due to an innate ability (smart, pretty, a natural speaker), you reinforce the fixed mindset. Instead, tell her that you can see her hard work paid off. Tell her you admire the effort she put into that presentation. When she compliments your success, acknowledge the hard work you put in. “Thanks â€" all those hours of practice finally paid off. I appreciate your noticing.” Here are Valerie Young’s new rules for the Natural Genius: Effort trumps ability. Challenges are often opportunities in disguise. Real success always takes time. If you suffer from this syndrome, ease up on yourself. Very few Naturals are actually naturals theyve worked long and hard to get where they are.

Ways to Tell Your Ex Wants You Back Badly and How to Handle It

Ways to Tell Your Ex Wants You Back Badly and How to Handle It It started out great and then things went south.   The two of you broke it off but things never stay the same.   Now, it seems as if your ex may want you back.   Is it meant to be or are you meant to say apart?   Here’s how to tell they want you back and a few things to think about before moving forward. Anti Rebound Usually, after a breakup, people go out with other people, deemed the ‘rebound’ boyfriend/girlfriend.   It’s seldom that the rebound relationship works out.   Sometimes, a rebound relationship is convenient to get back out there or to help forget a previous love.   However, if you hear that your ex refuses to see others or is shying away from opportunities to meet new people, it could be because they haven’t gotten over you.   They are waiting for you to call, to run into you, etc. Subtle Signs In a world filled with social media platforms, it’s difficult to totally shut out your ex.   You may still be friends on Facebook, see each other’s pictures on Instagram, or view their tweets in your Twitter stream.   Some signs are subtle, like tweeting, “I have not been as happy as I used to be,” while others are more forward like, “My life is over.”   If they upload your favorite song to their YouTube channel or won’t change their Facebook relationship status, it’s likely that they’re still holding on and want you back. Frequent Calls Some relationships end yet people agree to be friends.   However, a friend acts differently than a boyfriend/girlfriend, or even an ex boyfriend/girlfriend.   If they call more than your friends or are often a bit too friendly, these are signs your ex wants you back.   More obvious, if they continue to bring up the past or ‘us’ during the conversation, it’s likely that they want to be more than your friend.   There’s nothing wrong with being friends with an ex, but unless both parties are ready to be friends, it won’t work. Tender Moments The beginning of a relationship is considered to be the ‘honeymoon phase.’   Each partner is on their best behavior and each one does their utmost to be sweet, caring, and tender.   However, when two people break up, all that is over, unless one person wants the other back.   Then, the initial tenderness will return as one partner wishes for things to go back to what it was like at the very beginning of the relationship.   Some couples need time apart, yet in most cases, you can never rekindle relations; you can only move forward. Shared Memories Sure, there is a time and place to remember the past on a birthday, an anniversary, etc.   However, while they can be enjoyed, most exes do not share memories for no reason. If your ex often talks about places you’ve been, things that were said, or feelings that were shared, the past is not behind them.   If you find your ex brings up the past too much and it makes you feel uncomfortable, you can point out that you appreciate the opportunity to have shared those experiences but you’re trying to stay focused on your present and future.   If they don’t get the hint, then you can try being more direct about your level of discomfort. Observed Motions If your ex wants you back, they may keep tabs on you.   They may inquire about you, or even more creepy, follow you from afar.   They may somehow know that you’ve been talking to someone else, you have a new job, or know exactly what you had for dinner every night last week.   While following or stalking is an unhealthy notion, be gentle with an ex who has been keeping (distant) tabs on you.   Perhaps it is easier for you to move on then it is for them.     While that’s not your fault or your responsibility to help them, you could be empathetic. Bold Talk Lastly, if your ex really wants you back, they may adopt the bold approach and tell you exactly what they’re thinking.   They will admit they miss you and even suggest that you get back together.   No one can tell you how things will go.   You’ll have to listen to your heart.   As long as your relationship did not involve a form of abuse, it could work better a second time.   On the other hand, some believe that you can’t rekindle a flame once it’s out. Sources: Melissa Lawrence is a relationship therapist turned agony aunt. Her relationship articles appear around the web on lifestyle and relationship websites as well as in print. Image Source; Image Source; Image Source

Preparing for a Job Interview Researching the Company

Preparing for a Job Interview â€" Researching the Company Preparing for a Job Interview â€" Researching the Company When you have been invited for a job interview it is not uncommon to experience that feeling of dread and excitement as your interview date approaches. It can feel a whole lot worse if you dont know much about your new potential employers. Even when you have sent in your resume and application without any background knowledge of the company, you can still walk into your interview as if you have known about them for years.Here are some ways to help you research the company before your interview:Identify the companys strong pointsIt can be quite easy to pinpoint what the companys main strengths are or how they differ from their immediate competition. The companies themselves will often give you this information through their website and company literature.Quite often you will see a company brag about its achievements in the press or on social media. A quick study of their mission statement and company ethos will alert you about what makes them different from others.Let’s say for e xample that you were going for a job with an energy company. They may claim that they are a leading company for investing in sustainable green energy. That is a good thing to know.At interview you can mention that you are passionate about protecting the environment and support the use of green energy. You could add that this is one of the main reasons you are attracted to their company. As you look through the company website, check out a few of the basics that you should know before attending your interview â€" such as the history of the company, the size and location of other bases if they have any, how many people they employ and their plans for the future.Image Credit: unsplash.com/@flo_Check out the company wealthYou will want to win a job with some security, so it makes sense to look at the health of the companys financial situation. Check to see what corporate sponsors or business partnerships they have. Larger companies will post their annual reports so you can get an ide a of their revenue growth.If you are applying for a position with a new start-up company, then check them out on Crunchbase.com to see what recent funding they have had, recent hires and read press releases and news about them.Although this information may be really useful to reassure you about the stability of the company, it is not really something that you would normally bring up in conversation during your interview. However, it will enable you to speak confidently about where you believe the company is heading, and that can be very impressive at interview.Read the company social mediaMost companies will have social media accounts these days, especially LinkedIn for their professional business profile. It can be very insightful to catch up with what the company has been posting and what sort of relationship they have with their followers. LinkedIn is a great place to check to see if there are profiles for the people you will be interviewed by. It is always good to be prepar ed so getting an idea about the interviewers, their role at the company, how long they have been there etc. can give you an advantage at your interview.Check to see if the company has a corporate blog to read. These can often be hidden goldmines of information that can prove very useful for a prospective employee. Blogs can also give you an indication about how fast a company is growing, especially if it is a new start up.Learn the company cultureBy reading up about the company via their website, blog and social media accounts you will be able to get a good idea about their corporate culture. But it also helps to ask around friends and relations to see if you can find someone to talk to that worked there, or still does.Learning a little about the company culture before your interview will help you to realise what makes the company so special, but it will also help you to avoid topics or ask the wrong questions during your interview.It is also useful to be able to talk about the indu stry or business sector as a whole. Knowing a little about the competition and how the company fits better into their niche will always impress at interview.You can look up the competition by looking on LinkedIn. Check the Other Companies People Viewed section near the bottom of the company page. You will see a few competitors listed there. You dont need to do much research here, just pick up on the big picture information about them so you can talk with confidence about the competition if needed.OK, you may not use every bit of information you learn, but it will give you the confidence to walk into your interview and come across as more knowledgeable than other interviewees.Featured photo credit: unsplash.com previous article The Artistic Jobseeker â€" A Creative CV Template Freebie next article Free Word Resume Template for the Ladies Pretty in Pink you might also likeWhy Do You Want to Work Here? Best Answers to This Interview Question